Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
This baby is an asshole
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
