I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
