After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
