I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
