have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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