this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
