I think my fart just growled at me.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize