I'm eating all of the evidence.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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