I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
