Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
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She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
The air was thick with penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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