I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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