I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
