I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
