We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
