I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
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Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
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I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just want nice things and good sex
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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