I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Randomize
