just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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