Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
