It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
