what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
