Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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