My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
