They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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