I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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