Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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