I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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