I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
