and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
COCAINE IS GR8
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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