Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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