Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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