Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
