I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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