is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
