i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
