If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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