so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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