We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize