lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
