Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
