We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
it's great music for shaving your balls
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
