my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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