I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
