I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
