Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
