Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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