I'm passing your future prison.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
