make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize
