Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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