I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
