the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
