shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
