Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
