It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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