Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
just tell him i said nine months
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
