just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize