Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
