shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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