theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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