The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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