I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
