I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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