You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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